So whoever came up with the term of dating was a brilliant person, but not too smart when establishing the actual rules and regulations of this concept. I mean seriously when you decide that you are going to get out there and explore this word of the opposite sex (or same if that floats your fancy), how are you really to know what to do. It's like sticking a bunch of hungry hennas in a cage with one deer and tell them that they have to share and try to figure out which one has the “right” to devour this prey. Of course it isn't that simple and everything comes out just like any other hunt.
Though I have had a few boyfriends in the past, I am new to this dating world and must admit that I'm sure I like it that much either. If only it were simpler to say okay I like him and want to be with him and he agrees, yeah right....like that will ever happen! Instead it is a game of chance with the odds seeming to be against me no matter what route I take. Just the stress alone is something that no one should have to endure, yet it is addicting until you get it just right.
Yeah I know too many comparisons to deal with right now, it's just one of those thoughts that are coming out way too fast for me to write down so this is how it has to be. Anyway, I guess you could say this whole topic of rambling came about with a recent re-date with an ex. By which I don't suggest because there is a reason that it didn't work the first time around. Well we decided to hang out for a movie night as friends, well at least that is what I thought, and things did a dramatic turn that left me speechless and unsure of what to do. It turned out that that was his intention from the beginning to come over and tell me that he wanted to be with me and that he should have never “left” me in the first place but was stupid. So I guess that the saying you never know what you have until you loose it, is really a true statement.
Wow talk about scatter-brained today...Let's me get back to my whole reason of this thing here. Of course me at times not thinking before I speaking I blurted out maybe....or something of the sort...Well I don't really know what happen but his mood suddenly changed and became all insecure and agitated. I mean seriously what was I supposed to say: yes, please take me back, love me again. That's just not my style and plus I was liking us being able to hang out as friends with no complications involved. I had learned to hide my feelings for him awhile ago whenever we got together so as not to have the possibility of getting hurt again. Now I would like to just kick myself in the azz and say yes, at least in a more subtle and calm way. He has yet to call, text, email or whatever since this night and apparently he is scared I am going to tell him no (as to what I was recently told by a third party). I've tried convincing him that isn't what I am going to or will say but it's that ego thing that some men can't just let go for even a quick second.
Seriously if there is a book of dos and don'ts of dating either casually or on the verge of being exclusive then I must have skipped over that at some point and would like to be redirected back to that section of the book store. Hmmm...what about the being celibate for a long time...nope that wouldn't work...maybe just make out session...that is something I'm going to try and find out about!!!!!!!!
